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Almost Lisa: Pt 23, “Nodus Tollen”

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  Almost Lisa: Pt 23, “ Nodus Tollen”   "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away..." A friend sent me a video from Broadway the other day. Two singers, in a blackbox (rehearsal space or hall), at the upright, with director and stage director looking on, in first rehearsals together, running through a duet. My heart nearly exploded inside my chest. I could feel the vibration of the piano through the hands of one singer, leaning gently upon it. I could feel her inhale and exhale, as the notes escaped her throat to linger in the air, mixing and perfectly blending with another. I could smell bad coffee and the dust of old costumes, just from that video. I know this environment. I lived for it for so much of my youth and into early adulthood. This is HOME. Until it was taken from me, never to enjoy again. I miss it every... single... day. I try not to be jaded about loss, witnessing others living the dreams I knew I could have had. But the pain of standing on the sideline...
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Almost Lisa: Pt 22, “Almost Ran Away”

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  Almost Lisa: Pt 22, “A lmost Ran Away” Who likes Poetry?      “ Dance”            "Dance like the world is awoken.          Like your heart's never been broken.          Dance as if you are the Fire of your own manifestations.          Dance for Joy. Dance for Love.          But oh, sweet, strong, beautiful Woman,          Dance for you.          For YOU are the Music which          makes Life's Symphony.” I almost ran away in my early teens. At around 8pm- tired of all the arguing and discourse my family chose to communicate with- I made up my mind, packed a backpack (barely), and climbed out onto the roof outside my bedroom to lower the bag down to the drive with a rope. Then I crawled back insid...
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Almost Lisa: Pt 21, “

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  Almost Lisa: Pt 21 ,”Almost Anne” I moved to Los Angeles in 2005. Shortly after arriving, I'd registered with the cities premier background casting agency, Central Casting, and began working as a background extra on countless television and film sets. Because I was fit and had a look for it, I began getting calls for higher-based and featured roles as a bikini model, go-go dancer, even stripper (Look ma! I'm on the telly!). This part of the industry isn't terribly large. You tend to see familiar faces as the gigs amass. There were a small handful of us who booked frequently, consistently, and a few of us became close friends for all of the headaches and set ridiculousness we endured together (imagine wearing lingerie and bikinis on a television set, surrounded by dozens of crew, the cast, background performers, production, cameras, mics, etc... Literally everyone). That's how I met Anne: Tall, blonde, huge smile, gorgeous inside and out, always had a positive thi...
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Almost Lisa: Pt 20, “Almost out of savings"

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  Almost Lisa: Pt 20 "Almost out of Savings" It's wildflower season!                               (no wildflowers were harmed in taking these photos) I'm imaging I'm back in California, taking my annual drive through the canyons, watching the fiery orange poppies grow closer and closer until the ground is completely carpeted by the delicate flowers. Its stunning! Not only in the Antelope Valley, but in my favorite hiking spots. Like Wildwood and Fryman Canyons. After a good rain, the sunny, yellow blooms at Fryman can grow up to 6 feet tall! When you're small- like me- it's a beautiful playground. You feel like you're somewhere else, in a fairy tale! Georgia has bugs. They get in the house. They slip into the car just as I'm about to close the door. They creep me out. They're everywhere. Today alone I had a ladybug, a bee, and a wasp hitch a ride inside the c...
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Op-Ed Sex and the City of "Angles" (revisted)

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  In acknowledgment of the unsettling (but somehow not shocking) news today that  Harvey Weinstein's New York sex crimes conviction has been overturned, I'm revisiting  the blog I posted toward the end of his trial regarding a n "unpopular' but forever important topic: the ME TOO movement. Written by a woman, and 20+ year  Entertainment industry talent's first-hand experience.     Sex and the City of "Angles" Thanks to a handful of brave women (and others supporting), the floodgates have opened in the past several years and we are finally talking about sexual leverage and abuse in the Entertainment Ind ustry. I am n ot famous, so certainly this will reach a limited audience. But I do have something to say about what is now everywhere in the media. Maybe it will resonate. Maybe we can - together- find solutions. The industry has been placed under a microscope. Nothing we've read about Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Bryan Singer, Danny Masterson, a...
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Almost Lisa: Pt 19, “Almost Transcendent”

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  Almost Lisa: Pt 19, “A lmost Transcendent” . Spiritual books, classes & seminars are great ways of "downloading software". To truly Master yourself, you have to run the "Programs".  . In 2006 /2007, after my last ex cheated on me and stole thousands of dollars from me (yep, that happened), I was in a rough space. I'd dropped down to 105 pounds and for months all I could do was pace my apartment in a panic. I couldn't shut off this one channel in my brain which kept asking HOW did I let that happen ? I'd never been so deeply energetically affected by someone before. He was hurting and suffered from his own demons, but – of course- I thought my strength and support would be enough for both of us. The more he showed his insecurities, the more acceptance I tried to give him. But the more comfortable he got with and relied on me, the more often his episodes of anger, paranoia, and psychosis. And man, if projecting were an Olympic sport...  Since...
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