Op-Ed Sex and the City of "Angles" (revisted)
Sex and the City of
"Angles"
Thanks to a handful of brave women (and others supporting), the floodgates have opened in the past several years and we are finally talking about sexual leverage and abuse in the Entertainment Industry. I am not famous, so certainly this will reach a limited audience. But I do have something to say about what is now everywhere in the media. Maybe it will resonate. Maybe we can - together- find solutions.
The industry has been placed under a microscope. Nothing we've read about Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Bryan Singer, Danny Masterson, and others who have been in the news... is new. Their behavior is quite common in (though hardly unique to) the Entertainment Industry. You have heard of the casting couch? Well, it also occurs at lunches, in elevators, down set hallways, at screenings, in late-night phone calls and (on occasion) via unwarranted, unsolicited d**k pics (guys, no one wants these. It's not attractive and you look foolish). The power struggle is anywhere and it has been tolerated, enabled and accepted (by either those doing it or those who gain/wish to gain from those who are doing it) for a very long time. More than a handful of name actresses and actors have come forward citing similar experiences. But such oppressive sexual abuse and the threats which accompany it are not limited only to famous people. It has happened to countless career hopefuls and professionals. Myself included.
As
an actress, I have experienced sexual abuse (physically and
verbally), and been threatened on several occasions for standing up
for myself and saying "no". I have lost many opportunities
to further my career simply for denying the advances and demands of
various male decision-makers. It’s an ugly situation which can and
does happen to both males and females. And while there are numerous
ways of coping for those who comply (drugs, alcohol, therapy,
hypnosis, flat denial...), the psychological ramifications are
strong. Is fame and fortune worth giving away your Power and your
Peace to someone else? Is that success? Preying on the hopes and
dreams of others is disgusting and sad. But we can and we are trying
to do something about it. Since the discussion of men controlling their impulses has merited little resolution or improvement (and the push back proven further damaging), it remains the action of us womenfolk to try and navigate the terrain.
Ladies, the world IS watching these days. Everyone seems to be utilizing social media platforms. Online and in real life, lead with what you value about yourselves and stop giving away your Power. We teach others how to treat us and I reject the idea that exploiting our g-string bearing bums on Instagram (hoping for the validation of our sexuality from strangers) is "powerful". Let's do better. Several of my well-known theatrical comrades are out there living as examples of good role models. Brava Ladies and Gentlemen! In identifying symptoms, we are getting to the bottom of a bigger issue.
From a very early age, everything in ads, print and media everywhere teaches young ladies that we are not going to be loved and accepted until we are perceived as beautiful enough, skinny enough and/or sexual enough BY MEN. And it's bullshit! If every single service and consumer good out there tailored toward the insecurities of women were to cease to exist, imagine the impact that would have. Really, think about it! Makeup, liposuction, plastic surgery, diet products, push-up bras, fake eyelashes.... right down to photo apps which help you change your entire physical presence to be more acceptable to a virtual Society of “likes” and “followers” which don’t really know you and don’t really matter. They’re not real.
I don’t know that there will be sexual equality in my lifetime. But we can begin by nurturing self-respect and self-validation. Women are naturally powerful. By holding ourselves to a higher standard and building a stronger sense of female community, we are even more so. WE have to do this. Because in order for things to change, WE must change. And wouldn't you agree, it's time?
THANK YOU to all who help empower others to become better versions of themselves. Thank you for reading and sharing should you feel so inclined. I am wishing those directly and indirectly effected by the events behind this blog much peace and self-love. Never forget, you are more powerful than you think!
(Now, back to my regularly unscheduled blog, "Almost Lisa")
*I retain all rights to my story, likeness, biographical information, quotes, poetry, photography, photos, fashion designs, art work, and all of my own creation represented herewithin*
*PS If you like what you're reading, I welcome contributions to these efforts via Venmo @CatarACT_Inc)
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