Almost Lisa: Pt 21, “

 Almost Lisa: Pt 21 ,”Almost Anne”

I moved to Los Angeles in 2005. Shortly after arriving, I'd registered with the cities premier background casting agency, Central Casting, and began working as a background extra on countless television and film sets. Because I was fit and had a look for it, I began getting calls for higher-based and featured roles as a bikini model, go-go dancer, even stripper (Look ma! I'm on the telly!). This part of the industry isn't terribly large. You tend to see familiar faces as the gigs amass.

There were a small handful of us who booked frequently, consistently, and a few of us became close friends for all of the headaches and set ridiculousness we endured together (imagine wearing lingerie and bikinis on a television set, surrounded by dozens of crew, the cast, background performers, production, cameras, mics, etc... Literally everyone). That's how I met Anne: Tall, blonde, huge smile, gorgeous inside and out, always had a positive thing to say about everything. A joy to be around. We we got to collaborate and commiserate often, being in the same lanes in the industry. From tv to film to trade shows and events, Anne and I were top hires being professional, beautiful, well-spoken, great communicators, and reliable. Over time (as I migrated into principal roles and- later- stunts), Anne and I saw each other less frequently. Though we always kept in touch, our schedules became different. While she and our friends continued to book those high-based roles, my health began making me more and more uncomfortable and I stopped seeking to book them. 

Years passed and I noticed some changes in Anne. She'd always been a healthy, natural beauty. The weight had begun falling off and Anne was getting thinner and thinner each time we met up. I'd asked her about it and she said she stopped taking a medication which had made her gain weight. That never set right with me. I asked one of our friends about it and she, too, was concerned and tried to get through to Anne. We watched the photos Anne posted online showing our friend disappearing, day after day, until her arms looked fragile and her cheek bones were literally bones. It was upsetting, and Anne refused to have a conversation about it. She was proud of how thin she was. Having a family member with an eating disorder, I feared the worst.

It had been several years. Our friend Diana was getting married and “the band” was getting back together to witness and celebrate. Diana is another of my favorite people I've met in Hollywood. An absolute firecracker of a woman, a fellow Italian who speaks her mind, impossibly attractive, funny, and – despite the ditsy "air" she puts on for work and social media- sharp as a whip. Diana told me that Anne was going to be there and warned that she was unwell. And she wasn't wrong. Anne showed up, beautiful smile, perfect hair, talking a mile a minute. When I reached my arms around her, I realized she had been melting away. Never once did the smile stop beaming from her face. But I still wonder how she kept up that energy. If I'm honest, I don't recall seeing her eat anything whenever we met up. I have no recollection of it. This wedding day was no different.

Of course we promised to keep better in touch upon parting. But each time we spoke on the phone, Anne sounded more and more manic, diverting attention away from her and obsessing on the health concerns I now wished I hadn't shared with her. Anne's attention on the challenges I was trying my best to handle made it harder to communicate with her. Mid-pandemic, I chose to relocate to Georgia, so we didn't get to meet face to face again. I was scared for Anne. But our calls became painful for me. Eventually, I stopped answering the phone.

On April 26, 2024, Anne passed away due to complications of long term anorexia. Isolated from our group. She was 46. Barely a mention from her friends and colleagues on social media. It's taken me this long to find words. Anorexia is a nuanced disease. It's quiet at first, makes excuses, and deflects. Then the game of control starts to feel validating to its host. Eventually, it consumes the entire body, the mind, and destroys them. No amount of love we all threw at Anne could get through to her or break her of her self-destructive beliefs. We watched our Sis literally disappear in front of us.

You would think that the thousands of onlookers who physically objectified and celebrated Anne throughout her career might have made a bigger roar about her passing. She was quite popular. Scrolling through years of social media posts- at the comments under photos which were obvious red flags- I'm so mad. Everyone kept telling her how beautiful she looked and saying "you go girl" as her bones became more prominent, her skin began to appear (as Diana referred to it) translucent. Not too many posts of concern. Where was the love? Anne deserved better. She was so much more than an actress, pinup or poster girl. Anne was special. She was extraordinary. I don't know how to be okay from this far away, not being there, not staying connected. But I know, ultimately that love really had to come from within.

PLEASE check in on your loved ones. Everybody is facing battles we know nothing about. I'm not even sure I'll still be around in a year. I wish Anne were still here, smiling and cracking jokes with us, lighting up the room with that amazing smile and energy of hers. That's who she was.

I love you, Sis. I hope you're at peace.

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