ALMOST LISA”: Pt 3, “Almost Superstar”

 

ALMOST LISA”: Pt 3, “Almost Superstar”

"Do that one thing that makes you feel the most vulnerable and uncomfortable. Because that is the space where you actually figure out who you are"

Months passed without work as the Writers Strike all but shut down production across Hollywood. Now, without any agency behind me, my momentum stopped. Where I’d been booking alongside name talent in reputable roles, I was only finding employment via commercial and print work (having begun a modelling career at the ripe old age of 28, that window was closing, quickly). I attempted to reintegrate into background jobs, but the competition was fierce. Everyone was struggling.

Just before my NBC stint, I began training with a group of fellow performers in a local gym. Our workouts were unique as the class was comprised of athletes and stunt performers. I came to enjoy these sessions and the community. Over time, I found myself learning boxing, martial arts, fights and falls, gymnastics, driving, tactical... There was a never ending amount of skills to be learned. When theatrical work came to a grinding halt, there was time to devote to these sessions and improve. A year later, I landed my first contract stunt jobs. One on a TV show, the other a doubling job, driving for a commercial featuring Jennifer Lopez.

Flashback: Back in NYC, I'd attempted to venture into the world of pop. My degree from Eastman (being coveted and revered) was somewhat a calling card for interviews and auditions. On one such occasion, I remember walking into the offices of FHM Magazine, just as Jennifer Lopez was exiting with an entourage of at least 13 people alongside her. One of us won that interview. It wasn't me. I was on Jlo's heels a bit at the beginning of my career. She always seemed to be two steps in front of me. Now, I was on the same set, doubling her. And each time I did, the sensation was that I was standing on the outside, watching someone else live my dreams.

After a few such jobs, as coordinators began to acknowledge my skills and trust me more, these stunt opportunities broadened and became more frequent. I was earning a solid (though modest) income again. As much as I enjoyed being on set, painting these scripts with “physical acting”, it never replaced the desire or passion I had for acting. I craved that energy and connection. But the business had changed. You Tube stars and influencers were “acting” in guest stars and costars. Hedge fund money and private equity began to fund and float projects. Production became “content”. Talent became “stocks” and investment opportunities. The jobs I booked were smaller, though frequent. I relied on these costars, stunt gigs and even modelling/ print work to keep me industry-relevant. It felt like I was rolling a tractor tire straight uphill most of the time. I was tired, physically and spiritually. But I was in the Game.

In order to have an outlet for displaced creative energy (I'd turned so many into vocations already) I picked up a new creative hobby. A spontaneous purchase of a Nikon DSLR camera led to endless opportunity to explore the world I saw on a regular basis with different perspective. To reinvent my reality and find beauty in everything, even in broken things. As with anything creative, I quickly excelled and soon adapted a trademark style to my work. Specifically with cars.

My automotive photography offered a new, artistic perspective which lead to countless car shows and commissions for personal and corporate collectors. Including a couple of magazine covers for the president of an automotive club of which I’d become an honorary member. But it wasn't just cars which held my photographic interests. I branched out to other subject mater and was inspired to take my first ever vacation (those are trips you take for no reason other than to travel and explore a new part of the world. Crazy, I know. I’d never allowed myself to rest. It was time).

In May of 2014, I traveled all the way to the other side of the planet to land on a postage stamp (95 miles wide) in the middle of the Indian Ocean. My intention was to shift perspective, see something beautiful and rest my mind. And there was plenty to distract me on the small island. On one perfectly clear day, I sat on top of a mountain, overlooking a volcano, accompanied by a guide who spoke English and smoked Camel cigarettes. He explained to me about Hinduism and the beliefs of Balinese people which were - unsurprisingly- in line with my own. I quickly became inspired by Bali’s magic, its people and its culture. Before I knew it, I’d documented the entirely of my trip in photographs. Later, I would organize these images into an educational travel book and self publish it for my parents, so they could experience a part of that journey. Today, I have many of these self-published books of my photographic art and research from the places I’ve visited. And a growing bucket list of places I’ve yet to see (while I can).

I returned to the States with renewed appreciation and focus, continuing to establish myself as a working actress (and stunt woman) across multiple creative mediums, earning a positive reputation with casting directors and constantly working on my crafts. But no matter what I did, I could never seem to regain the momentum I had prior to the strike. It haunted me. I tried everything I could think of: new acting classes with specific instructors, networking events, lending my time and effort to others film projects, producing writing and casting my own... There was never traction. And every year, more and more new prospective talent landed in Los Angeles with Hollywood Dreams of their own. The pool was crowded. My jobs now now leaned more in favor of stunt work and stunt acting roles which were generally cast via stunt coordinators with approval by casting. Not the other way around. So now I was not only auditioning against name talent, but stunt people who could “do dialog”. If you weren't known or favorited by the stunt coordinator, your chances of getting those auditions were slim, not matter how suited for the role you are.

I was constantly close to moving the needle forward, but too often a 2nd choice. It was a never-ending string of “Almosts”.

    (to be continued)

 

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